Richmond Town 1 Prudhoe Town 1 aet (4-5 on penalties)

Wearside League Cup final

Attendance: c 250

The non-paying spectators get the best view at Earl’s Orchard. And what a view. Stand on Slee Gill road looking south are you are greeted by surely the finest and most ancient castle backdrop to any sports field in the land. The view from the ramparts of the Norman castle is pretty good too as I found out last September when I first espied the ground and promised myself a return visit the following spring. 

The merits of the vantage point were not lost of the castle’s early inhabitants. A balcony was attached to the castle (you can easily still make out the joist holes on the right of the pic) so that the earl and his court could watch knights jousting way below. Football has been played in the former orchard for 85 years including a spell in the Sixties when the club was called Young Conservatives. (It’s that sort of place: William Hague is the sitting MP).

 

Jackie Charlton opened the pavillion in 1975. The rest of the ground as such consists of a rail around the pitch, a gazebo across an open gate in place of a turnstile and scaffold and corrugated steel dugouts less than 100 yards from the rushing River Swale. (The ball was kicked right over the trees and into the river at one point and will probably have been in York by the final whistle). From the river side you can spot Culloden Tower, a folly built in 1747 after the eponymous battle.

These days Richmond Town are faring well. They were promoted to the step 7 Wearside League, a feeder to the Northern League, for the first time last season. Given their ground’s historic location its development in the event of promotion can safely be ruled out but the club is considering options for the 1st XI next season including a place in Catterick.

That didn’t happen. Richmond finished in a very creditable third place but they did reach today’s league’s cup final which presented the perfect opportunity for a visit. Visitors Prudhoe (pronounced ‘proo-der’, from near Newcastle) have a Northern League pedigree and finished just four places below their hosts this term. A close encounter was anticipated – and so it proved.

Prudhoe took the lead against the run of play just before half-time with a looping half volley from the edge of the box. Richmond deservedly levelled it on the hour when a cross was headed back and knocked in from close range. A stalemate ensued right through until the end of extra-time. (Funny how whenever, as a neutral, you don’t want extra-time you nevertheless get it). Prudhoe won the penalty shoot-out 5-4. The scorer was buried in team mates’ bodies.

 

Crowds at this level don’t quite share the same passion and just watched on as if bemused without even offering a sporting round of applause. After a short delay to draw the raffle (let’s get our priorities right) the trophy was presented, the PA played the obligatory We are the Champions and the Prudhoe lads posed for a victorious team photo. In front of the castle, of course. Where else? 

Star turn: Well, hardly … but talkSPORT reporter and QPR nut Tony Incenzo paid a visit to Earl’s Orchard last week. Didn’t realise he was also a very well travelled groundhopper. He’d done the 92 by the time he was 17 as described in this vintage clip from Swap Shop c 1981. 

Extra-time: Students of sporting architecture will enjoy a trip to the ruins of grandstand of Richmond racecourse which was in use from 1775 to 1891. It was designed by renowned York architect John Carr.

 

From the once sublime to the ridiculous: On my way home I diverted via the R&R Ice Cream Stadium (sic), home to Bedale Town of the Teesside League to admire the equally grandly named Will Abbotson stand. (More of a converted birdhide, it appears). A match between local boy and Huddersfield manager Simon Grayson’s XI and Bedale Legends (‘sic’ again) on April 22 raised over £11k for charity.

 

Recommended viewing: Here is a link to some outstanding pics from the home of Lyme Regis, a ground as scenic as Richmond Town. And, in contrast, click here for an equally evocative film of the derelict ground of East Stirlingshire, finally demolished 18 months ago.

 A spot of egg chasing: Another stunning ground I initially spotted from on high was Stacks Field, home of Ilkley RUFC (below). I visited last month and the pics and write-up are here. 

Brighouse Town 0 Scarborough Athletic 2

Northern Counties East League, Premier Division
Attendance: 1,059

Boy, I’d be waiting a long time for this one. My last proper football match was nine weeks ago at Spennymoor. Amidst a quagmire of postponements I got tickets for Berwick v. Rangers but was unable to use them and also saw the unblogworthy Man U v. Reading (see below). So bring on Brighouse, home of The Floral Dance, for this tasty top of the table clash against Scarborough Athletic.

League leaders Scarborough had won nine of their last 10 league matches (and hadn’t lost since October) while second placed Brighouse had won 10 out of the last 11. Only the champions are promoted to the Northern Premier League subject to ground grading. Match of the day in the Northern Counties East League? More like match of the season.

The Seadogs’ progress since their formation from the ashes of the town’s League club in 2007 has been slow. They’ve now been stuck in the NCEL for six seasons. (AFC Liverpool, formed a year later, have similarly stalled in the North West Counties League.) Scarborough still have no shortage of support, though, as I discovered on my previous visit to see them – at Pontefract in 2008 – and today their fans swelled the attendance to exactly 10 times Brighouse’s average.

Parking at the ground was like arriving at an agricultural show. I paid admission through the car window and was stewarded into a row on a large field beside the pitch. At Old Trafford last month my son, Bertie, and I had to neck our bottle of water at the turnstiles as fluids were not permitted inside and were then frisked by phalanx of orange jackets. No such security at Brighouse, thankfully: we simply stepped up from car park to pitchside – with our bottle.
 

The pedestrian entrance was a sort of sentry box with turnstiles either side like you get in urinals at stations with a bar stool positioned alongside. I liked the PA set-up too: a hi-fi stack inside the clubhouse connected to a pair of speakers on the roof via cables trailing from the window. The rest of the modest ground consists of basic scaffolded cover along one side, one Portacabin as a clubhouse, one as the sponsors lounge and distant changing rooms accessed not by a tunnel but a railed run. That’s it – but, heh, we were here for the occasion more than anything else.

During the first half the sides pretty much cancelled each other out. I had the feeling that this was going to an anti-climactic goalless affair. At half-time we edged our way down the front row of the stand against the flow of Seadogs fans changing ends and careful not to send the flasks flying, jolt the elbow of the elderly pork pie eaters or tread on trailing edges of rugs. The spattering rain was getting heavier and the whole occasion becoming a bit grim if I’m going to be honest. Empty chairs and tables on a patch of astroturf outside the sponsors’ lounge looked forlorn.

The second half perked us up, though. Scarborough continued to shade it in terms of possession and finally broke the deadlock on 62 mins. Victory was secured with a second goal on 78 mins. Both sides played some good football throughout. The away fans were in full voice in the final minutes and greeted the final whistle with backslapping, air punching and a minor pitch invasion usually reserved for the promotion clincher – but that’s only two matches away now.

“Save them creosoting it before next season!” said another fan, like us widdling onto the perimeter fence before getting into the car. Fifteen minutes of queuing later (not a regular occurrence at Brighouse, I suspect) followed by a push through the mud and a cheery “all the best” from a couple of stewards and we were on our way.

Still to come … the final match at Consett’s ground, a play-off perhaps and, to finish, a visit to Richmond Town on a sunny day for the magnificent castle backdrop. I’m more than happy for this season to run into extra-time.

Star turn: A genuine one, this time. Spotted holding court in the clubhouse before kick-off … Mr Dean ‘Hull City’ Windass, a keen advocate of non-league football.

Name of the season: The novelty of his name will have been commented on often before but let’s hear it one more time for Rudy Funk, Romanian manager of Scarborough. Other names that have caught my eye lately are Jesus who plays for Harrogate Railway (surname: Samuel Martin-Farija) and Igor Djalmo Sequeira Van Dunen who signed for Garforth Town from Angolan side Atlético Sport Aviação in February. Try saying that lot after a few pints …

 

More than a match: Few clubs have been harder hit by postponements and match rearrangements than Guernsey. In the 37 days between March 30 and the end of the season on May 5 the Green Lions will play 20 times including three Fri/Sat/Sun runs of home games.

FA Cup footnote: David Lacey writes in today’s Guardian: “The semi-finals are not what they were. Those nerve-racked, tensed-up occasions when players barely dared put one foot in front of the other for fear of making a mistake that would cost their team the place at Wembley which every footballer treasured have become just another set of cup-ties hidden awkwardly among the TV schedules”. Indeed. Ian Payne on Five Live initially referred to Man City v. Wigan as “the second of the finals”. Easy to get disorientated in the latter stages of the competition.

 

Grand grounds: Visiting Old Trafford was more like going to a tourist attraction than a football match. Just the one pic, above, and a video diary from our day out. And, to finish, here’s some great old stadium porn courtesy of the Mail Online.

Spennymoor Town 4 Bemerton Heath Harlequins 2

FA Vase, fifth round
Attendance: 398

Bemerton Heath Harlequins. What a splendid name. It fair leapt out of the draws for the latter rounds of the Vase – and was reason itself to travel to Co Durham for today’s tie at Spennymoor. For the uninitiated (and that will be most of you) Bemerton Heath is a district of Salisbury – just down the road from the equally wonderfully named Fugglestone St Peter. One of the many things I like about the Vase is that competing clubs hail from such small places you often have to look them up. As the FA Cup goes to seed it was nice to get back to basics in the Vase – and on a benign winter’s afternoon and in a crowd small enough not to feel conspicuous taking pics.

This was one of the biggest matches in the 24-year history of the Harlequins and Spennymoor were seeking to reach the quarter-finals of the Vase for the first time. However, in view of Friday’s sell-out top of the table clash against Darlington 1883 and put in a historical context, the game wasn’t such a big deal for the hosts which may account for the slightly low-key atmosphere for a match which puts the winners two wins from Wembley. (That said, today’s gate still exceeded all but three in the Conference North). In their pre-2005 incarnation as Spennymoor United the club played in the Northern Premier League, reached the semi-final of the FA Trophy (in 1978) and were regulars in the proper rounds of the FA Cup.



The Northern League lends itself to black and white photography

Following recent improvements to the substantial and smart Brewery Field ground including new floodlights officially switched on only last week the Moors are carefully gearing up for promotion back to the Northern Premier League in a manner which reminds me of Staveley Miners Welfare. The old terraces behind one goal and pronounced slope of the pitch are the only hints of the ground’s 106-year past. I particularly liked the new continental-style dugouts with a garden fence arrangement running behind and above them, an ideal position from which to do ‘Kilroy was here’ impressions and share views with the coaching staff.

Spennymoor were hot favourites for this tie as, indeed, they are for the competition. They have been Northern League champions for the last three seasons, are unbeaten in the league this season and were drawn at home for the fourth consecutive round.

Despite all that they went behind to a surprise Harlequins goal after just two minutes. (From the cheers it didn’t look like many had made it up from Wiltshire and you can hardly blame them). You always felt this was a temporary set back, though, and so it proved. The dominant Moors hit back with two goals before half-time. To their credit the Harlequins stayed in the match and grabbed an unlikely equaliser on 54 mins. It wasn’t long before the Moors had regained the lead, though, and they rattled in a fourth to end the contest with three minutes to go.

During the second half I sat in the grandstand. Next to me I chatted to a 90-year-old who spent 16 years as the secretary of the local RAF association (don’t know why he told me that but I tried to look impressed) and a 78-year-old with a jumble of teeth who has been coming here since 1957. He shaked me by the hand as we bid farewell at the final whistle. For me, this, as ever, is likely to be a one-off unless the Moors play  Guernsey at home in the quarters or semis. Now that would be an even more novel southern visitor that it would be hard to resist.

Style notes: The Harlequins away strip (sadly not diamond patterned like their home strip) was all orange and the goalie sported a clashing shade of lilac. I liked the ad for a hairdressers in the programme: ‘Support the Moors in style with Streets Ahead hair salon’. From a quick scan of the elderly gents around me a short back and sides is the most elaborate coiffure required by spectators.

Star connection: Frank Skinner’s dad played for Spennymoor before the Second World War.

Further viewing: For some great pics of the Harlequins scenic home ground and magnificent clubhouse click here. Hardcore Vase fans will also enjoy this complete recording of Bodmin v. Gornal Athletic on the Cornwall Channel.