Saturday, 5 April 2008

Wakefield FC 3 FC United of Manchester 2

Unibond League Division One North
Attendance: 1,378

In retrospect, the origins of FC United of Manchester look a bit peculiar. The club was founded three years ago by supporters in protest over Malcolm Glazer’s acquisition of Man United and all that would entail. In fact, it turned out not to entail very much, outwardly at least. For Man U it was a case of more big business as usual and the supporters of FC, I imagine, soon became united not by a hatred of Glazer but a new-found love of the beautiful non-league game as summed up in four words by one of the banners.

While FC have downsized Wakefield – surely the biggest city (population: 76,000) in England without a club in the top seven divisions – are desperately trying to go in the other direction. The programme decried the poor support and recalled the FA Cup tie between Emley (which Wakefield took over) and West Ham 10 years ago in the manner of the MK Dons getting misty-eyed over Cup final victories over Liverpool.
Ludicrously for such a small match (relatively speaking) parking was a nightmare largely on account of the ground being near the Pinderfields hospital. FC fans are no doubt used to this from the old days and are now probably getting used to changing ends when the ref signals which side is kicking in which direction. But they certainly can’t be used to heaving themselves over the fence to get into the ground like some did – to the amusing strains of “We can see you sneaking in.” Someone commented on how “they would’ve been paying £50 at Chelsea a few years ago”. The official admission was a mere £7.50 and a bloke who’s garden overlooked the ground was charging £3 with presumably extra for a place leaning on his wheely bins.

In a hailstorm many of us transferred to terraces covered by a plastic tarpaulin and scaffolding to join five fellas in big headphones (see pic), one of whom was commentating on the match for the FC website with a stack of hardware beside him on the terraces. “What are you lot doing in here?” he said, on air. “Get back in the rain!”

FC (strange abbreviation, that – just “Football Club” – but then it’s a strange name) had most possession and opportunities but Wakefield took their chances to win the game. FC faltered – much like, after two successive promotions, they are faltering in the Unibond First Division. When I first earmarked this fixture I expected that it would come at a time when they were just passing through the division but now any promotion will be via the play-offs.

The closing stages had the feel of a cup-tie about them as FC pumped up the pressure seeking to make it 2-2. When Wakefield took a 3-1 lead no doubt the home fans could’ve sung “We can see you sneaking out!” but there were hardly any of them. In fact, I only realised that there were any home fans at all when I spotted a group of about 30 jigging up and down between the main stand and the row of Portaloos to celebrate that third goal. FC came back to 2-3 in the about the fourth minute of injury time. “Have you got Fergie’s watch, ref?” called a fan. Then the whistle blew. It was a sheepish victory.

On the way back to the car I passed a metal figure depicting The Jolly Pinder, a beefeater-like chap who in the olden days rounded up loose cattle and later joined Robin Hood’s merry men, the plaque explained. Now there’s a gift of a mascot for Wakefield, if ever there was one. But it’s FC that merited – and could’ve done with – a mascot today.

Programme note: Pen pictures often raise a chuckle and this description of FC’s David Chadwick had me laughing out loud: “Upon signing Chadwick, manager Karl Marginson said he was the sort of player who would put his head through a brick wall if you asked him to. Although he’s not had to prove that boast so far the club captain has certainly lived up to his reputation and is a true leader on the pitch.”


For video highlights of the second half (containing all but one of the goals) see here. The site also has highlights of the first half if you're really keen. Note the barn noises from the main stand and the crackly PA sound like something from a country show. Finally, click here for larger versions of the best two pics from above.

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Harrogate Railway Athletic 2 Mansfield Town 3

FA Cup, Second Round proper
Attendance: 1,486
Talk about déjà vu. Not many once in a lifetime experiences actually happen twice but watching Harrogate Railway in the second round of the FA Cup is one of them. Five years ago I saw them against Bristol City and today they were up against Mansfield. These days Rail are a division higher and Mansfield languish a level lower than Bristol were at the time - at the foot of the Fourth Division (can’t stand that ‘League Two’ nonesense). Played on a sloping pitch in great slide-tackle weather, the tie had upset written all over it.

I paddled in the quagmire between the Portacabins in my walking boots and overtrousers. The bird next to me insisted on keeping her umbrella up for the first 20 mins of the match. “Mary Poppins” she was dubbed by someone stuck behind her. Good gag. The best waterproofs were sported by the cameramen on scaffold towers around the pitch. Yes – again just like last time – the match was on telly but this time BBC rather than Sky. Commentator Jonathan Pearce and Mark Bright were accommodated in a bird hide-type cabin which sadly obscured Rail’s smart new stand while the pundits – “Lawro”, Ray Stubbs and Carlton Palmer – shelted under a blue gazebo (see top pic).

Rail had a storming opening 15 mins creating several chances and hitting the bar. Mansfield gradually got into the game, though, and took the lead shortly before half-time. When they added to it after the re-start we expected a Rail collapse but it didn’t happen. In fact the lads twice came from two goals down to narrow the gap showing tremendous resilience and stamina. How we bayed for a last minute equaliser.

At the end a bare-chested Rail player flung his arms round his girlfriend standing behind the advertising hoardings as if he was a returning soldier, muddied but unbowed (and from “’Arrogate Railway's barmy army …”, I guess). Neither she, I suspect, nor we will be back for the next match: a West Riding County Cup tie against Tadcaster Albion on Wednesday night. The same probably goes for Barmy, the Beaver, Rail’s mascot, who was making what will surely be his only appearance before going back to the costume hire shop.

And so, my FA Cup trail sadly comes to an end for another year. It practically started with Rail back in the sunshine in September and finishes with them in the rain in December. “There aren’t any interesting teams left now,” mused my nephew Toby (over again from uni in west Wales for the match). My thoughts entirely.

Now that’s what I call a “journeyman":. The 39-year-old Mansfield goalie, Carl ‘Mugs’ Muggleton, clearly can’t settle. He has turned out for 16 different clubs. Just count ‘em by clicking on his name.

Saturday, 10 November 2007

Altrincham 1 Millwall 2

FA Cup, first round proper
Attendance: 2,457

The first round took me back to where it all began. My fascination with non-league football, that is. I was at university in Manchester in the early eighties and, while the other students were heading off for Old Trafford or Maine Road, I was was pedalling off in the opposite direction to Moss Lane. Always was a bit of an odd kid.

Reassuringly, the ground is pretty much the same as I left it other than one new small stand, a giant mobile phone mast and a new turnstile block that was built by the Alty left-half only last week. The most notable addition to the groundscape was the TV cameras. A gantry was hung from the roof of the main stand with a ladder leading up to it and a lone cameraman stood on a scaffold tower behind the Millwall end. What crap away fans, incidentally. Hardly any of them and very unvocal. "Where's ya famous Bushwackers?" indeed.

Millwall started brightly but Alty took the lead against the run of play on the stroke of half-time with a Goal of the Month-contending volley from Senior (cue "Senior Service" headlines) which fully merited the Romario baby-rocking celebration. Was Alty about to add to its record-breaking tally of 16 League scalps?

Sadly, no. Millwall equalised from a penalty when an Alty defender accidentally handled on the line trying to keep a shot out and was sent off. It was the turning point of the tie and, even more significantly, the point when I made my long-awaited debut on MOTD. I was the man lurking behind the goal to the right of the red card as the ref held it up. When I saw the clip I was beside myself with excitement. It almost beats appearing on Top of the Pops next to Kid Jensen as he introduced Billy Ocean c. 1980.

The Millwall winger with bandy legs and red boots (Simpson, an Arsenal loanee) was causing havoc with his in-cutting runs. The Lions were threatening to eat up and spit out the Robins and they soon got a second goal from Hoskins, a good East End name. At the end the Alty goalkeeper went up for two late corners. "Go on, Stu!" we all urged as he checked the clock with the bench.

The final whistle blew. "Oh, well. We won the first half," said the bloke next to me, as we turned and headed towards the smell of Barney's fish and chips. Not quite the same though, is it?


How not to report the Cup: Refer to Harrogate Railway as "Harrogate Motors" as Talk Sport did.

How to report the Cup: "Sixteen of Non League's finest fought their way into the second round draw to keep our flags flying high - and the League's big boys sweating" - from the front page lead of the Non League Paper. That's more like it.