FA Cup preliminary round
Attendance: 98
A ugust 11th was just too early for the football
season to start – even if it is the FA Cup and certainly while the Olympics are
on. A match at the same time as all those running races was like contemplating
dessert before you’ve finished the main course: too much to even think about
let alone digest. So I bypassed the extra preliminary round a fortnight ago. Pleasingly,
the club I’d planned to visit, Crook (in Co Durham), won their tie and were
drawn at home in the following round. This is likely to be their final season or
two at their ground – the most highly rated in the Northern League – and I
wanted to visit in the Cup while I could.
The Millfield does not disappoint. For a start it has two
tunnels. The away team snake down a passageway that looks more likely to lead
to a sheep dip than football pitch while the hosts step out through a pair of upside
down garden gates. The ground’s record attendance is an astonishing 17,000 who
packed in for an Amateur Cup quarter-final in 1952 (see ‘Recommended bedtime
reading’, below). It would’ve been a squeeze but it’s relatively easy to
imagine how the ground could’ve held such a number. 
I suspect that the two sides that are now grassy banks were
once terraces and the area behind one goal still is - and with robust-looking
crash barriers to boot. There are nine terraces too in a bizarre stand around
the corner that’s roof is so high and upward pointing that it looks like it was
specifically designed to catch the wind and allow rain to sweep under it. Huge
painted arrows on the back of the stand direct navigationally challenged
spectators to … well, the tea hut, I suppose. Pride of place goes to the 1925
grandstand astride the half-way line with painted wooden bench seats and a
floodlight pylon sprouting through the roof like a weed through matting.
Meanwhile, they left themselves open at the back and paid the price when the
Old Boys scored twice as they’d been promising to do. The goal of the match was
Crook’s equaliser: a spectacular overhead volley by hat-trick man Byrne from a
cross after which he again revealed his undershirt which bore a message about
chips. (I couldn’t read all of it). My man of the match was Kev Devine.
Barrell-chested and getting on a bit, Kev writhed and rolled his way around the
pitch like an angry bull. All we needed was the winner from him – but, sadly,
it never came.
Attendance: 98
The Millfield does not disappoint. For a start it has two
tunnels. The away team snake down a passageway that looks more likely to lead
to a sheep dip than football pitch while the hosts step out through a pair of upside
down garden gates. The ground’s record attendance is an astonishing 17,000 who
packed in for an Amateur Cup quarter-final in 1952 (see ‘Recommended bedtime
reading’, below). It would’ve been a squeeze but it’s relatively easy to
imagine how the ground could’ve held such a number. 
I suspect that the two sides that are now grassy banks were
once terraces and the area behind one goal still is - and with robust-looking
crash barriers to boot. There are nine terraces too in a bizarre stand around
the corner that’s roof is so high and upward pointing that it looks like it was
specifically designed to catch the wind and allow rain to sweep under it. Huge
painted arrows on the back of the stand direct navigationally challenged
spectators to … well, the tea hut, I suppose. Pride of place goes to the 1925
grandstand astride the half-way line with painted wooden bench seats and a
floodlight pylon sprouting through the roof like a weed through matting.
Crook were the stronger team and, when they took a two-goal
lead after about 20 mins, you felt that the tie was over. The Old Boys (great
name, by the way, and they’re from Barrow) then struck back to score with two
goals from their first two chances. Crook nudged ahead again to make it 3-2 and
spent most of the second half failing to take the opportunity to put the tie to
bed.
“We don’t want to go to Holker,” bawled a fan. “They’ve got
outside netties!” Later someone said to the Crook manager: “Here. Gary. Get
that left back off!”. Gary replied: “He’s coming off in a minute.” The fan/club
contact couldn’t be closer at this level. Another fella was recalling a cup tie
in 1952, when he was five and among a 4,000 crowd around a snowy pitch. He
won’t have been the only spectator with such memories given that the average
age of the attendance was about 75. Several had stoops, wore wooly hats (in
August) and looked like they should be called Tommy. You can always rely on the
good ole Northern League for a really retro experience.
What a way to start this season’s FA Cup trail. I doubt I
will see a more entertaining and passionate contest. Just a fortnight after the
Olympics my faith in football (at least, non-league) is restored. I was
originally saving Crook for a grim, slate grey winter’s day to give me the full
feel of one of those vintage black and white photographs. Towards the end of
today’s match the drizzle and mist thickened and I zipped my cagoule right up. My
afternoon was complete. (Holker won the replay 3-1).
Recommended bedtime reading: I’ve bought the Crook AFC
Chronicle. The club’s history is extraordinary. It includes 10 matches against
Barcelona; a former player whom went on to manager Barce and Peru; regular five
figure crowds during a run of Amateur Cup triumphs in the 1950s and 60s; a tour
of India in 1976; and recent £50k donation out of the blue by local boy and
former president of Arriva group, Sir Tom Cowie, after whom the ground was partially
re-named. Click here for a brief online history. Love this pic – of the 1962-63
side with a game dame.
Recommended online reading: Alderney played Sealand, a
principality that is a former World War fortress in the North Sea, in an
international friendly today. Click here for report and pics.
Stars in their eyes: Wembley has signed five ex-pros viz Ray
Parlour, Martin Keown, Brian McBride, David Seaman, Graham Le Saux and Claudio
Caniggia and appointed Terry Venables as advisor for their FA Cup campaign.
It’s base a ruse conjured up by competition sponsors, Budweiser. All that was missing was a couple of EastEnders and an X-Factor reject. Dunno if this
is really what the spirit of the Cup is all about but it certainly added
considerable interest to their opening match. In this video clip their manager
says that only Parlour and Keown are hanging around for the next tie.
Mad hop: A groundhop in Wales this bank holiday weekend took
in 11 clubs (most with unpronounceable names) in three days. They do say
that groundhopping has a lot in common with trainspotting …
